(ORLANDO)Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind! | (ROSALIND)Why, how now, Orlando! where have you beenall this while? You a lover! An you serve me suchanother trick, never come in my sight more. |
(ORLANDO)My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise. | (ROSALIND)Break an hour’s promise in love? |
(ORLANDO)Pardon me, dear Rosalind. | (ROSALIND)Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight: I had as lief be wooed of a snail. |
(ORLANDO)Of a snail? | (ROSALIND)Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, hecarries his house on his head; a better jointure,I think, than you make a woman: besides he bringshis destiny with him. |
(ORLANDO)What’s that? | (ROSALIND)Why, horns, which such as you are fain to bebeholding to your wives for: but he comes armed in his fortune and prevents the slander of his wife. |
(ORLANDO)Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous. | (ROSALIND)And I am your Rosalind. Come, woo me, woo me. What would yousay to me now, an I were your very very Rosalind? |
(Orlando)I would kiss before I spoke. | (ROSALIND)Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were gravelled for lack of matter, you might take occasion to kiss. Besides, in her person I say I will not have you. |
(Orlando)Then in mine own person I die. | (ROSALIND)This is a lie! People have died from time to time and worms have eaten them, but not for love. |
(Orlando)I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind, for I protest, her frown might kill me. | (ROSALIND)By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition. Ask me what you will. I will grant it. |
(Orlando)Then love me Rosalind. | (ROSALIND)Yes love I will, Fridays and Saturdays and all. |
(Orlando)And will thou have me? | (ROSALIND)Are you not good? |
(Orlando)I hope so. | (ROSALIND)Why then, can one desire to much of a good thing? Come, sister, you shall be the priest and marry us. Give me your hand, Orlando. What do you say, sister? |
(Orlando)Pray thee, marry us.(Celia)I cannot say the words. | (ROSALIND)You must begin. Will you, Orlando- |
(Celia)Go to! Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?(Orlando) I will. | (ROSALIND)Ay, but when? |
(Orlando)Why now; as fast as she can marry us | (ROSALIND)Then you must say ‘I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.’ |
(Orlando)I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. | (ROSALIND)Now tell me how long you would have her after you have possessed her. |
(Orlando)Forever and day. | (ROSALIND)Say ‘a day’ without the ‘ever.’ No, no, Orlando. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will weep for nothing, and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry! |
(Orlando)But will my Rosalind do so? | (ROSALIND)By my life, she will do as I do. |
(Orlando)Aye, but she is wise. | (ROSALIND)The wiser the waywarder. |
(Orlando)A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say ‘wit, wither wilt?’ | (ROSALIND)Nay, you might keep that cheque for till it meant your wife’s wit going to your neighbor’s bed. |
(Orlando)And what wit could wit have to excuse that? | (ROSALIND)Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall never take her without her answer. |
(Orlando)For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. | (ROSALIND)Alas! dear love, I cannot lack these two hours. |
(Orlando)I must attend the duke at dinner: by two o’ clock I will be with thee again. | (ROSALIND)Ay, go your ways, go your ways; I knew what you would prove: my friends told me as much, and I thought no less. Two o’ clock is your hour? |
(Orlando)Ay, sweet Rosalind. | (ROSALIND)If you break one jot of your promise or come one minuet behind your hour, I will think the the most pathetical break- promise and the most hollow lover: therefore keep your promise. |
(Orlando)With no less religion than if though wert indeed my Rosalind: so adieu.(Celia)You have simply misused our sex in your love prate: we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. | (ROSALIND)Coz coz coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how fathom deep I am in love! My love hath an unknown bottom |
(Celia)Or rather, bottomless, that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. | (ROSALIND)No, I cannot be out of sight of Orlando: I’ll go find a tree, and sigh till he come. |
(Celia)And I’ll sleep. | … |
As You Like It (Act 4 Scene 1)
July 13, 2019