Much Ado Out West- Calamity’s lines Act 2

So, we’ve gone through the secret plan we’ve analysed the secret flow chart. Now let’s take a look at the secret bar graph Look, I know what to do, let’s just get a move on.
Excellent, I’m going to my secret position in the secret hayloft. Just go!
Why, there’s Calamity! Still dressed like a guy, I see. Hoping Aunt Sue will hire you on as a ranch hand? Aunt ain’t decided which gender she’s gonna hire.
So you’re staying in disguise? Smart move. Hey Claude, should we tell her the big news? What’s going on?
How would you feel if a cowpoke got on one knee and offered you a ring like this? Why Claude, I am so so happy!
Great! That’s just what I’m Winny will say. Why do I keep falling for that!
Have you seen her around? I want to propose to her as soon as possible. But you just met her!
Ain’t that what love at first sight is all about? Do you know her whereabouts? Oh, uh, yeah. let me check the evil flowchart. I mean, she’s up in the hayloft.
head off stage But Claude, you should know something. She’s not alone up there.
What? She’s with a fella. See, you can make out each of their silhouettes.
Did it work? I reckon. But how’d you make it seem like there was two silhouettes up there?
I’m a master of shadow puppetry. And now I go. Farewell, fellow villain. Tell no on of this. Everyone’s plum crazy around here.
It ain’t no joke. I’m gonna get ready. Hey there Claude!
You don’t want to mess with me right now. Oh don’t I?
I ain’t in the mood! You’re finally gonna pay attention to me!
What do you want. It’s good news really. And if you stop squirmin’ I’ll tell you about it. I heard what Winny done to you.
I don’t wanna talk about it. Ow! Let me finish, you lug-head! I know what she done abut I want you to know there’s a girl and she’s right close by. She’s a gal that’s more suitable to your style. she might be a bit rough around the edges in comparison to a southern belle but she’s got a real good heart!
That’s awful nice, you tryin’ to set me up on a date with this friend ‘yours but I don’t want to let another woman hurt me again! No one’s gonna hurt you!
Ow! Ow! I’m sorry.
I don’t understand. This is my doing too. I helped him out, but I never thought it’d lead to this.
The one that’s surrounded by about two hundred cows. He mentioned it… I think I know how to get to there.
What’s the quickest way? Here, let me draw you a map! Now if we go along Dry Creek Gulch we’ll shave off some time…. Then we go up the Bramble Bush Path and through a patch of juniper then it’s just a short stretch up Rocky Peak
Uh yeah! We out foxed you all. So you two ain’t in love?
July 27, 2019