As You Like It: Rosalind – Part Eight

ORLANDO: You have my consent… for, look you, here comes my Rosalind. God save you, brother.
OLIVER: And you fair sister. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf!
ORLANDO: It is my arm. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.
ORLANDO: Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?
ORLANDO: Ay, and greater wonders than that. O, I know where you are. Nay, tis true. There was never anything so sudden. For your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner asked one another the reason but they sought the remedy – and in these degrees have they made pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb. They are in the vary wrath of love together. Clubs cannot part them.
ORLANDO: They shall be married tomorrow… I shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for. Why then, tomorrow, can I not serve your turn for Rosalind?
ORLANDO: I can live no longer by thinking. I will weary you then, no longer with idle talking. Know of me then, for now I speak to some purpose, that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things. I have since I was three year old, conversed with a magician most profound in his art, yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the hear as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena shall you marry her. I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it be not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is, and without any danger.
ORLANDO: Speakest thou in sober meanings? By my life I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore put you in your best array, bid your friends, for if you will be married tomorrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will.
PHEBE: Youth, you have done me much ungentleness to show the letter I writ to you. I care not if I have. It is my study to seem despiteful and ungentle to you. You are there followed by a faithful shepherd; look upon him. Love him. He worships you.
ORLANDO: And I for Rosalind. And I for no woman.
ORLANDO: And I for Rosalind. And I for no woman.
ORLANDO: And so am I for Rosalind. And so am I for no woman!
ORLANDO: If this be so, why blame you me to love you? Why do you speak too, “why blame you me to love you?”
ORLANDO: To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. Pray you, no more of this. Tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon! I will help you if I can. I would love you if I could. Tomorrow, meet me all together. I will marry you if ever I marry woman, and you’ll be married tomorrow. I will satisfy you if ever I satisfy man., and you’ll be married tomorrow. I will content you if what pleases you contents you, and you’ll be married tomorrow. As you love Rosalind, meet. As you love Phebe, meet. And as I love no woman, I’ll meet. So fare you well. I have left you commands.
ORLANDO: I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not. As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Patience once more while our compact is urged. You say, if I bring your Rosalind, you’ll bestow her on Orlando here?
SENIOR: That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her. And you say you will have her when I bring her?
ORLANDO: That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. You say you’ll marry me if I be willing?
PHEBE: That will I, should I die the hour before. But if you do refuse me, you’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
PHEBE: So is the bargain. You say that you’ll have Phebe, if she will?
SILVIUS: Though to have her and death were both one thing. I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep your word, o Duke, to give your daughter. Yours Orlando, to receive his daughter. Keep your word, o Phebe, that you’ll marry me, or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd; Keep your word Silvius, that you’ll marry her if she refuse me; and from hence I go, to make these doubts all even.
HYMEN:… Whose heart within his bosom is. To you I give myself, for I am yours. To you I give myself, for I am yours.
PHEBE: If sight and shape be true, why then my love, adieu! I’ll have no father if you be not he. I’ll have no husband, if you be not he, nor never wed woman if you be not she.