| Curtain up | Dear ladies and menfolk! |
| Women and gents | Youre people of culture and true common sense |
| You know what you know and you like what you like | Like singing a song or riding a bike |
| Two hour symphonies | Ping pong |
| Canoeing | Poetry |
| Football | Or yellow snowshoeing |
| We like that stuff too | Its the greatest |
| You bet | And topping the list… romeo and juliet |
| Its shakespeares great classic | We cant get enoughBut make no mistake… writing that stuff is tough |
| Sublime in its scope no thing is more artful | It deserves honors and lauds by the cart full |
| The play is just perfect | Nothing is wrong |
| Except that it’s almost two hours | Too long |
| The play still is great so we need not repeat it | But you need to be Albert Einstein just to read it |
| Now don’t get us wrong we love William Shakespeare | But in this new century he’s not very clear |
| Yet only in reverence to him our great hero do we pull the bard back to our level, zero | We’ve shortened the play changed some names made it rhymeNo more of that blank verse, we don’t think he’d mind. |
| A rhyming tetrameter is thought quite useful | But could make the play sound a big dr seussful |
| And what s wrong with that why as sure as we’re standin. Seuss is good too and most folks understand him | But don’t get the notion that the seussification of romy and j is our one main intention |
| We’d never do yhst | No we wouldn’t oh no. And that’s why we’re bothering telling you so |
| A prologue is given to the top of the play | A paragraph giving the whole plot away |
| It must be important there must be a reason for shaky to put it there | Less he’s just teasin |
| Our prorogued addressed so let’s watch and see | This lamentablr |
| Horrible | Gross comedy! Oh, tragedy |
| Our thoughts are our own as I stand alone and I play on this xylophone eight belled trombone | In this corner, here is Sampson Gregory, from the house of capitulate he was born angory. And representing the house of Lord Monotone, Abram Balthazar. He sings tenor |
| Hi | And baritone |
| He’s lying my love you must never surrender | Enter the prince, royal and wise. He’d had about all he can take from these guys. A crusader for peace he stops the fight. And everyone listens cuz they know he’s right. He paused and makes the most eloquent speech |
| Will you jerks knock it off I’m trying to sleep | Upon hearing the princes great message of virtue the crowd all dispersed. It was almost past curfew. Only lord and Mrs. Monotone stayed |
| My love is fair stripped bare and cooked rare. But fair Cupid steals my bliss so I despair | That was young Romeo, kid number one. But as you can see he’s not having much fun. |
| The party will never CURe my broken heart. But I’ll go along with you to take your part | Meanwhile back at the capitulate place we meet Juliet full of splendor and grace |
| Zip zip Shabang also known as mercutio | Now i think you can see by this point in the play that there isn’t a singular possible way that our show could have taken ok Seuss attributes. We’d sooner put bounce Berry beans in our boots |
| There are those who call me Romeo! | Needless to say romys heartache was done. He met a new girl and she had good gum. All of the guests from the banquet had parted. But not Romeo. He was just getting started |
| Excuse me there Miss could I get your number | So Romeo went back to monk larrys house. Not a creature was stirring not even |
| I’ll banish young Romeo from fair Verona as soon as I finish this slice of bologna | Romeo has to go skip town or else the prince might find out and put him on the shelf. We see here young Julie as she thinks and sits. |
| I’m wife to a banished guy. Man that’s the pits | Yeah that’s not all cuz there’s more pits in store. Here come her parents through her bedroom door |
| Shucks now I can’t play double sneetch blaster | Surely by now you can see that it’s true. With dr. Seuss our play has nothing to do. |
| Well say it again in case you were snoozing. It never dawned on us to make this a Seuss thing | Later that night Juliet ate the nuts |
| It’s our turn to scream | Meanwhile back on the beach of kadid we meet up with Romeo. That’s where he hid |
| Off to Verona I go with my life to lay it before my corpse of a wife | The mourners took one last look at Julie’s body. Then somebody yelled |
| Now there’s a reason that romeos death isn’t halting | We switched his death cracker with a plain saltine. |
| We’ve read this show and it don’t end pretty | So we tweaked the plot a bit, made it less gritty. |
| Juliet woke from her death grip Like slumvrr | And overjoyed Romeo did a backflip dance number |
| He’s such a good listener | They’ll both be attending the swish fishing opener |
| He’s the feud fixing chappie | So all of the members of both families went through the machine just as fast as breeze. T took all the X’s and O’s of their tummies |
| Long years of bitterness melted away | Now they had nothing but nice things to say |
| I like your trousers and you’re a nice guy | There wasn’t anyone left who felt bugged |
| So they all partook of a giant group hug | Group hug! It was official. The feuding had ended. The lovers kept loving and the families befriended |
| All from both families sold their bumbaloons. And with all the money they bought a pontoon | And now every night with the fish and the ducks they all eat together at pontoon potlucks. Now you might have noticed that no one here died |
| What can we help it if our prologue lied. But come on that’s no way to end a good play | Dr. Seuss wouldn’t I’d venture to say |
| That’s right he wouldn’t and neither would we. Even though our play is dr. Seuss free | Well ok it did have a few small seussisms. Some overblown rhyming and minor plot schisms |
| This stuff of dangerous | It shouldn’t be tried |
| To interpret William Shakespeare seussified | Leave that to artists. They’ve had the right schoolin |
| They are the pros | And they know what they’re doing. We hope you’ve enjoyed this tragic lament |
| Cuz we’ve all enjoyed it | 100% |
| Curtain up again | Ladies and menfolk |
| Women and gents | Romeo and Juliet. Our prologues addressed |
| You’re a creep x3 | Enter the prince the royal sap |
| Wow that’s good gum! Yum ditty yum! | Later that night |
| Now I’m the death cracker consuming man | Romeo danced. Not Even one died |
| Nobodys dead they’re al still alive | Group hug. We hope you’ve enjoyed this tragic lament |
| Cuz we’ve all enjoyed it | 100% |
| Faster and backwards! Percent hundred one | Hug group |
| Go Romeo where’d | Night that lster |
| Dad her with he’s Julie for suitor | Juice fruit sneezle |
| Gents and women | Menfolk and ladies |
Narrator 1 seussification of Romeo and Juliet
November 25, 2019