As You Like It Monologue

Yes, I once cured a man, and in this manner. Yes, one, and this is how I did it.
He was to imagine me his love, his mistress, and I set him every day to woo me; He had to imagine that I was the girl he was in love with. I made him woo me every day.
at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing and liking, When he did, being but the changeable boy I am, I’d mope, act effeminate, switch moods, long for him, like him
proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant be proud and standoffish, be dreamy, full of mannerisms, unpredictable
full of tears, full of smiles; for every passion something, and for no passion truly anything, full of tears and then smiles; be passionate about everything, then nothing
as boys and women are, for the most part, cattle of this color; Most boys and women act just like this.
would now like him, now loathe him, then entertain him, then forswear him; I’d like him one minute and despise him the next;
now weep at him, then spit at him, that I drave my suitor from his mad humor of love to a living humor of madness, cry for him, then spit at him-until finally I drove love out and anger in.
which was to forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook merely monastic. He abandoned the world, and hid himself away in a monastery.
And thus I cured him, and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep’s heart, So I cured him, and I’ll cure you just the same, leaving you as clean as a sheep’s heart,
that there shall not be one spot of love in ‘t without one spot of love in you.
July 6, 2019